Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconskruffy123: More from skruffy123


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
November 19, 2009
File Size
728 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,140
Favourites
43 (who?)
Comments
58
×
hand full of hair, your skin on my teeth
nails down my back, a hundred heart beats

we've been here  before
but still you fail to breathe, my eyes meeting yours

penetrating every thought
all attempts to speak
are all for not
though there's really no need

for we both know
this moment consumes what we are
every kiss, caress,
potentially a scar

left on our body's, hearts, and minds,
so much damage done in so little time.

till we both have no choice, but to lie in embrace
hearts racing skin bleeding on the pillow case
the second version i like it better
Add a Comment:
 
:iconanniexhx:
anniexhx Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
well done
Reply
:iconskruffy123:
skruffy123 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Professional General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconanniexhx:
anniexhx Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yw :)
Reply
:iconominako:
Ominako Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Good writing skills you're really good!
Reply
:iconskruffy123:
skruffy123 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Professional General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Student Writer
I know I favorited this before, but I just have to say how much I love it.
Reply
:iconskruffy123:
skruffy123 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much
Reply
:iconoilux:
Oilux Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Student Writer
No problem dear!
Reply
:icontristancody:
TristanCody Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Writer
I really liked this piece.

I noticed that on the first line of the second couplet, you double spaced. Just thought I would mention it in case you missed that.

May I ask why you did not capitalize or use punctuation?

Great work,
Thank you for sharing.
Reply
:iconskruffy123:
skruffy123 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thank you, and I merely have terrible grammar.
Reply
Add a Comment: